I have a confession to make.... last night I went in to check on TJ, he was sound asleep and looked so cute that I just had to stare at him. I stared and fell in love all over again. I mean he is so perfect and adorable and the complete love of my life (along with my loving husband). I couldn't resist, so I picked him up (I know the golden rule of parenting "let sleeping dogs lie", but I couldn't help myself) and got in the glider and rocked with him. I rocked and kissed his head and rocked and all of the sudden I was crying.
Being a mom had made me much more emotional than I have ever been in my life. Every time there is a story on the news about a child hurt or missing, I have to turn the television off. I can not stomach hearing about children being hurt. At school, I am much more aware that the kids I teach are somebodies TJ and I have become a more patient teacher because of it. On the flip side, I also find myself a little resentful that I spend more time with other peoples children than my own. Which brings me back to last nights confession.I have such little time to spend with TJ once school started. We love his daycare and they are wonderful with him, but sometimes I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom. What kinda mom spends 10 hours with other people's children and only 2 with her own? Being a working mom is so difficult. So while I know I shouldn't sacrifice TJ's sleeping for my own neediness, I did it anyways. And guess what... I would do it again.
P.S. Yes, that is a diaper on my head. It was full of ice, I was so hot after my cesarean section that the student nurse got me a diaper full of ice and put it on my head. Still not sure why they just didn't give me an ice pack as I am confident they have those at the hospital, but oh well.